A Promise!

RAPE, RAPE, RAPE! There you go, I have said it aloud. Don't get me wrong but I had to say it real aloud. I stopped using this word a long time back. And even when I was using it occasionally in a playful tone, during my college days, it was in a totally different context, not even remotely close to what you think. We used that term to denote some ones dominance over an opponent in a game, specifically a computer game. It’s been a while since I left college and I don't remember the last time I played a game, let alone rape some one in it. So I never used it after that and all these years with the sad news I keep hearing, I developed an acute aversion towards it. I was totally not comfortable speaking or using this word, not even hearing about it. But I have been avoiding it for too long now. Given what’s going on in this country who can really avoid it.

            The first thing I like to see when I get up in the morning is my moms smiling face, but the other day her face was not so pleasant. On my asking she said that something bad happened in Delhi. I was still in my bed with my eyes half closed but I could catch the words Rape, Delhi and a Girl. That was in fact more than enough to get the whole picture. I immediately got angry at her for even mentioning the news. She understands that I don’t like to hear or discuss such news but my sister read something about it on the internet and was real upset crying. It made me angrier; why the hell would you read something like that, that too first thing in the morning. For the rest of the day I tried avoiding that story as much as possible but it was every where and no matter how much I tried, finally I had to deal with it, at least with my thoughts about it. After all it got the whole nation stirred up.

            What’s wrong with us, humans? Especially men in a country like ours. I am not comparing men in my country or rather my country to some place else, but I cannot help myself think why would men commit such a barbaric act, rape. Even after all these years of civilization and culturing when men resort to things like these it makes me wonder about the whole point of culture and society. I am a man, but I seriously don’t understand why any man would do something so horrible to girls, especially in a country like ours where Mother is considered to be the foremost goddess. And it scares the shit out of me. I mean what if something like that happens to some one we know; I don't think we will be able to handle it. How do we deal with something we don’t understand?

It is said that we humans are the only mammals on the planet with the ability to take care of their elderly; we even take care of other species. We are blessed with that extraordinary capacity to reason, judge and act - ability to take care and be responsible for other species and nature. Women are beautiful, certainly more mentally mature than men, but they are delicate as a flower. We men should be like thorns protecting them from any danger. Through we care for nature and other beings, we have already caused an immeasurable and irreparable damage to this world. And finally if we also exploit women, the only thing left to degrade to would be eating each other alive.

            Gandhi once said that India would have achieved true independence on the day when a woman can walk alone in the midnight and feel safe. So I don’t see that happening any time soon. Yes you can make the punishment capital and harsher, make an example out of the culprits, but don’t these guys already understand the monstrosity of their acts even before committing them? May be they don’t have brains or they don’t reason before acting so I fail to understand how the severe punishments would help the case. We can’t feel safe unless we understand the reasons behind their actions so that we can really do something about it. As in may be a proper universal education to each and every child with a strong emphasis on morality, culture and social values. If not now at least a few years down the line, our country might get safer, safer to our daughters or at least to our granddaughters. I hope the day would come when parents with girl children won’t have to feel so vulnerable.

            To me it’s independence when I can send my sister to the movies with her friends, in broad daylight, without having to think about her safety. I don’t think I am there yet, so even when she wants to go on her own, I take the responsibility to drop her off at the movies. I really don’t understand these evil men, their actions or the on going injustice. The only thing I understand is that I absolutely and unconditionally love my sister and I will do what ever it takes to protect her. May be if every brother or cousin, every male colleague, class mate or friend takes an oath to be completely responsible for the safety of the girl or woman they are with - making sure that they are completely safe, may be we can avoid some of these situations. Next time when you drop off your sister or a friend or leave a colleague behind at the office during night think twice about their safety. Think twice before leaving them some where unsafe and in this regard my definition of an unsafe place is pretty much every where except for the relative security of home, college or office. Ideally you should not even think, you should and must ensure their safety. That should be your part in dealing with this situation before we get to deal with it forever, for good. I promised my sister that I will be completely responsible for her safety no matter where she is. After all as a brother it’s my moral obligation and responsibility, as I have been promising her for more than past two decades on every Raksha Bandhan to take care of her. I hope you do the same with your loved ones.